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Chapter 1: Broken Hearts and Shattered Vessels
"Nothing is more whole than a broken heart." -- Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
In the course of our lives, each of us will inevitably have our hearts broken more than once. We will all experience times when our lives, as we have known them, are suddenly shattered by the intrusion of fate or disappointment. These "shatterings" can have many faces: a divorce or separation, the unexpected death of a loved one, a sudden job or financial loss, a personal betrayal, an acute illness, or the onset of a chronic disabling condition. We may become the victims of a natural catastrophe or social upheavals that forever alter our lives. In recent times many of us have had to cope with the shocking new reality posed by the threat of terrorism, namely the loss of our sense of personal safety and security, and the loss of an innocence we once possessed. We are all a little broken-hearted these days.
Yet at those very times when it seems as though our whole world is crashing in on us, we may be heir to one of those personal epiphanies that changes the course of the rest of our lives. Though our hearts may be broken and our lives awash in chaos, we may sense a newfound inner strength and resilience that has been borne out of our difficulties. Many survivors of trauma tell about the ways that they feel forever changed for the better by their ordeals. Having brushed up against mortal danger, they describe feeling a heightened sense of appreciation for life itself and profound gratitude for the love and support they received from others.
Perhaps this was what Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk meant when he said that "there is nothing more whole than a broken heart." Like many Jewish mystics who spoke about life and healing in paradoxical terms, the Kotzker Rebbe understood that things are not always what they appear to be on the surface. In fact, many things first manifest as their opposite. What appears to be bad may ultimately turn out good; illness may, at times, be the path to our deepest healing, and brokenness is sometimes the only way back to wholeness. Just when things seem like they are falling apart or ending, new life is often generated, and just when we think we have it all together, things often fall apart. From the mystical perspective, reality is always both broken and perfect all at once. |
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